Overcome vs. OverwhelmedBy: Debra Myers (Stress Management Consultant)
Faced with a feeling of being overpowered by global events that concern my health, my finances, or a potential new direction that I might need to take, may leave you wondering, "What can I do? Do I have to wait for the world to settle down before I can feel better? Is it possible that I can be calmer inside, despite everything outside swimming in uncertainty?"
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How Stress Management Can Help
Understandably, many of us can feel anxious because of the current, unanticipated conditions. The guidance of Stress Management is being aware of how your mind and body operate under stress, which can give you more control over it. In other words, when we focus on noticing how we react to outside events, we can learn to adjust by taking advice from a threatened, overreactive mind and moving to a less reactive one. A calmer and clearer vision enables access to creativity, a wider perspective, and more possibilities toward a hopeful outcome.
Our survival mode, if left unchecked, will go into overdrive in anticipation of peril. Optimally, stress is designed to protect us in the present moment, and whenever the danger has passed, the body and mind recover, repair, and relax. On the other hand, if you find yourself anxious, agitated, and unable to unwind, you are under the influence of the survival mode. Mentally, this perspective will bring up worst-case scenarios, keeping you on-guard from danger and making you feel at a disadvantage. Some of the ways it speaks to you is by saying, “This is too much! This shouldn't be happening! I don't think I can handle it! I don't know a way out!” Physically, this continued perspective tenses your muscles and speeds up your heart rate and breathing, which results in compromising the body.
Anger can be a way we unconsciously hide our fear. We become angry when we feel limited, powerless, and lack control over our circumstances. The body tenses when these thoughts predominate which culminates in the form of pain, but it can make us alert to our imbalance. Instead of being complacent and numb to the effects of stress, Stress Management techniques use Mindfulness (non-judgmental awareness) to make our reactions conscious and to release our physical and mental tension.
No matter how long our unconscious, survival-mode way of thinking has been a habit, we all have a reset inside of us for peace and stability. This may seem very far fetched during the throes of stress, but our reset is hardwired to help us wind down and thrive. Stress Management techniques can help us shift into a lower gear of emotions and reactions. By practicing the exercises, it calms the body/mind and affords the nervous system the opportunity to feel safe. When we feel safe, we can relax. Through the use of these techniques, we can rise to the challenge of bringing stability to our inner world even though our outer world seems to be in chaos.
The following is an Imagery exercise I use with clients to help them release the intensity of their emotions when they feel overwhelmed. Following technical accuracy is not essential with this practice. Rather, it is a reference for the mind to follow. As a cautionary note, your mind may want to interrupt and distract you moving through this process. It might convince you of a frightening version as your reality. This is an example of a threat perspective, and you will have to hold steadfast not to become captive. If you want an outcome in which you are able to access your creativity and feel better about yourself and your situation, you will have to move past these types of conclusions. When you have discovered that your mind has wandered, start again from the beginning — don’t pressure or force it. If the image triggers rather than calms, tailor it so that it becomes less stimulating and your breathing rate becomes more comfortable for you. Remain open-minded that you may need to try several attempts with this exercise, before you can unwind.
To begin this Breathing Imagery exercise:
Exhale out of the mouth and envision you are releasing your anger/fear.
Imagine a jet on a holding pattern burning off its fuel before it can land.
Inhale, then breathe out of the mouth or 5-6 seconds. Continue to…
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for 5-6 seconds.
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for 5-6 seconds.
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for 6-7 seconds.
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for 6-7 seconds.
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out envisioning flames out of the afterburners.
Again breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for 6-7 seconds.
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out your anger, fear, or emotional intensity.
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for 6-7 seconds.
Breathe in through the nose and breathe out imagining the color and shapes of the clouds.
Now, breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for 7-8 seconds.
Again, breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for 7-8 seconds.
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out more intensity for 7-8 seconds.
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for as long as comfortable.
Continue this breathing practice and imagine the landing gear being extended as you exhale.
Again breathe in through the nose and breathe out of the mouth, for as long as comfortable.
Exhale out of the mouth and envision you are releasing your anger/fear.
Imagine a jet on a holding pattern burning off its fuel before it can land.
Inhale, then breathe out of the mouth or 5-6 seconds. Continue to…
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for 5-6 seconds.
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for 5-6 seconds.
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for 6-7 seconds.
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for 6-7 seconds.
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out envisioning flames out of the afterburners.
Again breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for 6-7 seconds.
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out your anger, fear, or emotional intensity.
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for 6-7 seconds.
Breathe in through the nose and breathe out imagining the color and shapes of the clouds.
Now, breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for 7-8 seconds.
Again, breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for 7-8 seconds.
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out more intensity for 7-8 seconds.
Breathe in through the nose, and breathe out of the mouth for as long as comfortable.
Continue this breathing practice and imagine the landing gear being extended as you exhale.
Again breathe in through the nose and breathe out of the mouth, for as long as comfortable.
Slow down this breathing rhythm even more, as your aircraft begins to slow and touch down on the runway. Observe if you are aware of the feeling of your hands or feet. Are you settling down more into your chair? This sense of grounded-ness means you are decreasing the emotional intensity. As you breathe out completely and slowly, imagine your aircraft slowing down even more. Just as you hear the wheels touch down and skid on the runway, observe if you can sense your body in the chair, and feel your feet on the floor. Be as descriptive as you can — focusing on releasing some tension as you decrease this emotional energy. Exhaling out slowly and completely calms the nervous system. In your aircraft scenario, imagine you are landed at the gate and a support team awaits you. Your team can be real or imaged, spiritual or human, or a combination. At this time, notice if you feel more relieved and relaxed. You are allowing yourself to care, rather than scare yourself. Let Stress Management techniques encourage you to release your reactions, restore your energy, and revitalize your perspective.