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Stress Management Newsletter
By Debra Myers (Stress Management Consultant)
DebraMyers@unwrappingstress.com
Remember being intrigued when listening to ghost stories as a child, or as an adult feeling shocked and frightened while watching a scary movie or visiting a haunted house? You may have reveled in those feelings of adrenaline because you chose those experiences, knew they weren’t real, and felt they couldn’t harm you.
But what if the feelings of fear, anger, or sadness lurked in your life uninvited, underneath the surfaces of your difficult relationships or stubborn life situations? You may find uneasy feelings sometimes holding your mood and actions captive. Beneath those emotions are thoughts such as: “Something bad is going to happen”; “Things won’t work out”; “There's something wrong with me”; “I don't have enough”; “Other people have it better than me”; and “Things will never change.”
The mental monsters have now taken control.
When under this “spell,” you can become convinced that life is unsafe, your resources are limited, and circumstances or other people have power over you. Day in and day out if left unnoticed, you may blame other people or circumstances for your misgivings, never realizing that your thoughts drive your beliefs, actions, and eventually outcomes. Feeling anxious, irritated and uninspired may be your usual condition, but if you find yourself joyless and ineffective, these are additional symptoms of being influenced by “thought monsters.” It may take turmoil coupled with a deep sense of uneasiness to finally get your attention and wake up from this influence.
“Why do I have these mental monsters,” may be one of the questions you ask yourself when facing this dilemma. Believing they are protecting you, these reactionary monsters conjure worst-case scenarios stories that scare you about potential pitfalls. This unproductive way of being keeps you safe but immobile. The monsters convince you that this is your reality. However, it’s a limiting, defensive mental armor that weighs you down and keeps you in a rut. Consequently, when our sense of self is threatened/stressed, we become indecisive, argumentative, and easily depressed. This unhealthy method of cocooning shields you from change, new possibilities, and further abundance.
Now you may ask, “How can I reclaim control and slay these sabotaging, addictive mental monsters?” From a stress management perspective, it’s imperative to primarily be awake to their presence. Observe if you feel upset and not in control. Notice if your breathing stops or becomes shallow. If you are aware at this stage, slow down your reactions by exhaling slowly and completely. Eventually you will discover that you don't have to frighten yourself to be motivated, (for example). Only when you are able to remain observant and less reactive will you be able to be more effective with the next step; changing from the unhappy story in your mind to a more hopeful outcome.
At this stage, if you are getting distracted or encountering resistance as you upgrade your thoughts, it may be helpful to write them down. Perhaps in the past you were surrounded by others who repeatedly reacted negatively or dramatically when faced with your predicament, and now you have a hard time envisioning improvement. Remember that the thought monsters are fulfilling their misguided way of protecting you. Acknowledge their presence and efforts as you make an intention for a more enhanced outcome.
The mental monsters have now taken control.
When under this “spell,” you can become convinced that life is unsafe, your resources are limited, and circumstances or other people have power over you. Day in and day out if left unnoticed, you may blame other people or circumstances for your misgivings, never realizing that your thoughts drive your beliefs, actions, and eventually outcomes. Feeling anxious, irritated and uninspired may be your usual condition, but if you find yourself joyless and ineffective, these are additional symptoms of being influenced by “thought monsters.” It may take turmoil coupled with a deep sense of uneasiness to finally get your attention and wake up from this influence.
“Why do I have these mental monsters,” may be one of the questions you ask yourself when facing this dilemma. Believing they are protecting you, these reactionary monsters conjure worst-case scenarios stories that scare you about potential pitfalls. This unproductive way of being keeps you safe but immobile. The monsters convince you that this is your reality. However, it’s a limiting, defensive mental armor that weighs you down and keeps you in a rut. Consequently, when our sense of self is threatened/stressed, we become indecisive, argumentative, and easily depressed. This unhealthy method of cocooning shields you from change, new possibilities, and further abundance.
Now you may ask, “How can I reclaim control and slay these sabotaging, addictive mental monsters?” From a stress management perspective, it’s imperative to primarily be awake to their presence. Observe if you feel upset and not in control. Notice if your breathing stops or becomes shallow. If you are aware at this stage, slow down your reactions by exhaling slowly and completely. Eventually you will discover that you don't have to frighten yourself to be motivated, (for example). Only when you are able to remain observant and less reactive will you be able to be more effective with the next step; changing from the unhappy story in your mind to a more hopeful outcome.
At this stage, if you are getting distracted or encountering resistance as you upgrade your thoughts, it may be helpful to write them down. Perhaps in the past you were surrounded by others who repeatedly reacted negatively or dramatically when faced with your predicament, and now you have a hard time envisioning improvement. Remember that the thought monsters are fulfilling their misguided way of protecting you. Acknowledge their presence and efforts as you make an intention for a more enhanced outcome.
Minimizing the Thought Monsters
Before you can begin to access a new way of thinking, it will be necessary to reset.
- Place your hand over your heart.
- Notice the feeling of warmth generated from your hand as you focus your attention at your heart’s center.
- Breathe out and imagine with each exhalation the monster is shrinking.
- See if you can be open to a revised outlook.
- Make an intention to soothe rather than scare yourself, encourage rather than berate, as you select more encouraging mental messages.
- Observe if those messages convince your body to feel calmer.
- Is your breathing more even?
- Can you sense your muscles and your mind become more open and less reactive?
It may take some time to shift to feeling safe rather than triggered. It will not be one and done. When you are able to transform your emotions from feeling scared to feeling safe, you are then eligible to benefit from those challenges. Persistence, patience, and practice will help you slay the mental monsters.
Want to Learn How to Release Sabotaging Thoughts?
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The reward to unwrapping stress
underneath the layers of stress, is the gift of our reset of peace available and accessible in the present moment. |