Stress Management Super Powers
By: Debra Myers (Stress Management Coach & Consultant)
Retraining Your Outer Focus Towards Inner Focus
Do you feel like your life is spinning out of control?
Are you easily provoked by others’ conversations and actions?
If you are triggered, do you find it difficult to manage your emotions or fully express your opinion?
On the other hand, do you find yourself on edge, anticipating an undesirable outcome, or being the target of someone's disagreeable mood?
Provoked by another person or a highly charged situation, most of us react on impulse and habit. It seems logical to be on heightened defense when verbal arrows are shot in our direction, or watch our feelings being drowned by unbelievable events. When flooded with emotion, we are at the mercy and held hostage by external factors; which stifles our ability to respond. Frustrated, we torture ourselves by replaying the triggering event in our mind, searching for a better outcome.
In other words, the stressful situation or other person’s reaction is omnipresent and “drives the bus!” Our constant focus on the other person's reaction or shifting circumstances is a form of protection and signals to our system that a threat is in progress. Because it becomes a habit and seems familiar, we become numb and unaware of the draining consequences.
What if you could think more clearly in the midst of chaos, remain calm in spite of another’s emotions, and be able to respond instead of being explosive or overly defensive? It is not a fantasy but a possibility when you choose to direct your attention inwards. The key is to make a choice to deflate the situation by using what is in your capacity.
A vital but overlooked stress management “superpower” that can assist you in positively influencing the situation is to focus inwardly and change your breathing to decrease the emotional intensity of the situation. Start by focusing on your exhalation, and breathe out even if it’s in short bursts. Although you may still feel upset and your problem remains unresolved, you signal to the mind/body that it's safe enough to let go. When you direct yourself to breathe out, you are signaling inwardly that you acknowledge the existence of your experience, which begins to support and calm the nervous system down. To ignore, suppress or remain unaware of how your mind/body is experiencing the stress event just keeps it active and drains your energy. When you focus inwardly, you “place your hands on the levers of the runaway train” that represents your mind.
Continue the practice to focus on breathing out again even if it happens in short bursts. Progressively, extend your exhalation by slowing it down. Imagine with each exhalation that you are releasing the intensity of your feelings. Observe if you have more of a connection or sense of your body, which further decreases the intensity of the situation. This process calms down your brain and decreases your fight-or-flight threat response. It enables you to provide a more satisfying response and be better equipped in making advantageous decisions. This mindfulness-based stress reduction tool acknowledges your emotions, decreases your reaction and empowers you to respond more calmly and confidently.
Even if the practice of inner focus and breathing may seem too simplistic to be effective, it is nonetheless easily accessible, has been proven successful for many generations, and best of all, it's free!
Are you easily provoked by others’ conversations and actions?
If you are triggered, do you find it difficult to manage your emotions or fully express your opinion?
On the other hand, do you find yourself on edge, anticipating an undesirable outcome, or being the target of someone's disagreeable mood?
Provoked by another person or a highly charged situation, most of us react on impulse and habit. It seems logical to be on heightened defense when verbal arrows are shot in our direction, or watch our feelings being drowned by unbelievable events. When flooded with emotion, we are at the mercy and held hostage by external factors; which stifles our ability to respond. Frustrated, we torture ourselves by replaying the triggering event in our mind, searching for a better outcome.
In other words, the stressful situation or other person’s reaction is omnipresent and “drives the bus!” Our constant focus on the other person's reaction or shifting circumstances is a form of protection and signals to our system that a threat is in progress. Because it becomes a habit and seems familiar, we become numb and unaware of the draining consequences.
What if you could think more clearly in the midst of chaos, remain calm in spite of another’s emotions, and be able to respond instead of being explosive or overly defensive? It is not a fantasy but a possibility when you choose to direct your attention inwards. The key is to make a choice to deflate the situation by using what is in your capacity.
A vital but overlooked stress management “superpower” that can assist you in positively influencing the situation is to focus inwardly and change your breathing to decrease the emotional intensity of the situation. Start by focusing on your exhalation, and breathe out even if it’s in short bursts. Although you may still feel upset and your problem remains unresolved, you signal to the mind/body that it's safe enough to let go. When you direct yourself to breathe out, you are signaling inwardly that you acknowledge the existence of your experience, which begins to support and calm the nervous system down. To ignore, suppress or remain unaware of how your mind/body is experiencing the stress event just keeps it active and drains your energy. When you focus inwardly, you “place your hands on the levers of the runaway train” that represents your mind.
Continue the practice to focus on breathing out again even if it happens in short bursts. Progressively, extend your exhalation by slowing it down. Imagine with each exhalation that you are releasing the intensity of your feelings. Observe if you have more of a connection or sense of your body, which further decreases the intensity of the situation. This process calms down your brain and decreases your fight-or-flight threat response. It enables you to provide a more satisfying response and be better equipped in making advantageous decisions. This mindfulness-based stress reduction tool acknowledges your emotions, decreases your reaction and empowers you to respond more calmly and confidently.
Even if the practice of inner focus and breathing may seem too simplistic to be effective, it is nonetheless easily accessible, has been proven successful for many generations, and best of all, it's free!